Sustaining..myself

k
I have always been and will always be a solitary practitioner.

When I was 16, I wanted to be a hermit because I thought all people were cruel and stupid.
But being a human makes me crave companionship. So I dreamed of a cabin in the forest where I was self sustaining with a garden, chickens and goats. Alright, so I needed to go into town once in a while to trade for a few things. Get my fix of human company and news before heading back to the wild.

"I know God promises not to give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much."--Mother Teresa--


Life can be a challenge.
This has been a rough year, for me at least.

This past week put me on notice. I have graduated from a teacher's guidance.
It stung a little bit to be shoved out of the nest but tough love is still love.

I was forced to take stock of myself which can be a very scary thing. My dream world never fails me.

In the dream, I learned how to fly using simple tools. A basket I could sit in, a sage bundle and a large cloth to catch the smoke. It was like making smoke signals but I flew on the smoke.
I was so excited! I had to find my shaman friend and show her how to do it. But every time I tried to go to her, the magic failed me and I called her on the phone. Modern magic is cool too.
She told me that I needed to teach this skill to other people first. When I tried, I couldn't seem to explain myself and the simple technique. People laughed and called me crazy. I began to cry.

Sidebar: I might be good at written communications but I sometimes wonder if I'm speaking in tongues. I try to express myself in words but what I think is a good explanation comes out as something completely different than intended and people get upset with me. I used to dream of being a mute too. My loose cannon mouth can do a lot of damage when I don't want it to.

Back to the dream. There I am, crying and feeling like a failure when someone I have come to love very deeply appears. He makes the mean people go away and I explain what I was trying to teach them. They had broken my basket, tore my cloth and stomped on my sage bundle.
My very dear, friend helps me find another "basket" which turns out to be a large, cardboard box that fits the two of us. I fix the sage bundle as he goes and finds another cloth. The new one is a beautiful, batik sarong.
I teach him how to fly and he has no trouble understanding my directions. In fact, he begins to finish my sentences and we both work the magic and fly to a deserted house where we light a fire and sit. Watching the stars and roasting marshmallows.

Now, I have had a while to chew on this dream and think about its meaning.
What I got was another story.

When I was very young, I had spirit guides who were teaching me. What plants were good to eat and how to speak to animals. The world was a magical place and I danced though it joyfully.

Something terrible happened to me and my spirit was shattered. I could no longer hear my guides though I could still speak to certain animals. It has been a long journey. Picking up the shards and slowly putting myself back together, spiritually. There are still a few cracks and chips but I'm dancing along the path. Alone most of the time but I hook up with fellow travelers every now and again and we share stories.

It's all good.

Sustainining the Dreaming

Mood music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TohFk9qkePQ

I have vivid, powerful and epic dreams. Always have.
Some are lessons for me to unravel. Others are meant to be shared with anyone who's willing to listen. I truly believe the Dreaming is a reality that is just a blink away from this one.
recently, I have asked for important dreams before I sleep and the Dreaming answered.
http://www.shamanichealing.info/id38.html

The first dream. I found myself and other survivors crawling from the rubble of what seemed a large city. Someone finally created the ultimate weapon and used it. So powerful was this creation of madness that it ripped the seams of the worlds. We were somehow in a shadow land between what was once our waking reality and the Dreaming.
As the survivors gathered together, we began to discuss what to do next. I wanted to explore this strange place and find out if there were any beings who might be able to help or at least explain where we were. A large, loud man stood up and quickly declared himself the leader. My ideas were crazy. He told everyone we needed to get back to the way things were. Barricades and weapons were needed to protect ourselves.
I argued that this was the same thinking that destroyed the world as we knew it in the first place. We needed to adapt to our new environment. Not the other way around.
I was quickly exiled from the "safety" of the city.
Out in the strange wilderness, I quickly met a being that looked like a cross between a black cat and a teddy bear. I curbed my fear and let myself radiate friendliness. The creature responded and began to teach me the way this world and its creatures worked. This place was a small pocket between what had been our world and the Dreaming. Reality was pliable so we had to be careful with our thoughts. Because I was thinking peaceful and friendly thoughts when I met my guide. It reflected back to me. The beings in this world were able to phase in and out. Traveling where they wished with a thought.
With time and coaching, I had created a small dwelling that blended with the environment. Fruit bearing bushes and trees grew nearby and water was close and clean. I had many, friendly, shape shifting neighbors. I was getting the hang of this place and loved it. It was like lucid dreaming and I needed to go back to the city and teach this to the others before something bad happened.
http://www.shamansdreammusic.com/index.html

Why are humans so stupid? It amazes me that we've been able to avoid extinction this long.
Anyway.. Something bad was on it's way.
When I went back to the city it had changed. Rebuilt as best it could be by fearful people. Barricades, fires, and where the hell did they get the guns?
I was let in by someone who knew I wasn't a threat and had something important to say. They didn't like the way things were going but were too afraid to speak up for fear of being exiled like me. I began to talk about the wilderness and how our new home conformed to our thoughts. We could create a beautiful world if we just put our minds to it. Just when I began to reach people, the leader showed up. He began to preach hate and fear. Saying I was a lier. People didn't know who to believe until my friend showed up and went to a small child. At first, the child seemed eager to be friendly and the creature smiled and looked adorable. Then, the child's mother looked at the leader and pulled her child away. Saying it was dangerous. The child seemed confused for a moment but then looked at her mother and believed as she did.
My cute, little kitty bear friend suddenly transformed into the child's and her mother's worst fear. It grew fangs, claws and foamed at the mouth before attacking the mother and child. Al, hell broke out as other denizens came to the call of panicked humans. It was not a pretty sight.
Some in the city escaped with me into the wilderness where I began to teach them what I had learned. Our new home blossomed and every creature was considered a friend.

Want to read about other dreams and dreamers?
http://www.worlddreambank.org/INDEX.HTM

My second, important dream that needs to be shared.
I'll keep this brief.
I found myself in a secret, underground, government facility. I had gotten in because many people put themselves at risk to get me fake documents. My job was to find out what was being kept prisoner and tell the world.
Years ago, an emissary of Mother Earth came to talk to those in power and warn of the harm they were causing to the planet. This gentle, physical manifestation of nature was locked up and studied mercilessly.
As it's anger and frustration grew, so did its physical form. Now it was as big as Godzilla and breaking free of its prison. The whole mountain shook as it broke through barrier after barrier. Evacuation sirens blared as we ran. Trying to get out before the mountain collapsed on us.
I wanted to see the creature. I had to. I found a small, observation window and caught a glimpse of its eye. I still weep when I remember the pain and anger in that huge eye, staring back at me.
I knew everything then.
It had come in peace and was betrayed. Now its goal was to reach the ocean and begin to repair the damage humans had caused. I found my hand on a lever that would open the last barrier and give this "monster" access to the ocean. I knew many people would die and I might be one of them. I pulled the lever and woke up. Earth's bodyguard had left the building and was it pissed.

Now for something a little more friendly.
http://www.shamantic.org/shamanticarts.phtml
I need to know the universe is also kind, silly and loving as well as a tough teacher.
http://www.shamanworld.com/

So I wish everyone out there, powerful dreams. Thoughts have power. Use them wisely.